Stories....kids and you

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  It doesn’t matter how old we are, we all use stories to explore our lives – past and present – and our possible future. Stories allow us to learn about the lives of our family and friends. Telling and reading stories provides a safe space to experience and make sense of the ups and downs of life.

  Stories transport us into the lives of people we’ve never known, who come from long ago and places faraway. And there are those stories that carry us away to imaginary worlds where real-life fades and fantasy takes over. We might all enjoy different stories but we all share and explore them for the same reason: they are just so satisfying!

  So, sharing stories with your children is fun and powerful! And did you know that it also has lots of other benefits too? 
• When you read or tell a story which contains feelings it helps your child accept their feelings and understand how others feel. They learn they are not alone and others may feel the same as they do. This helps them know that feelings are natural and, it is alright to have feelings.
• You can also learn how your child feels when you see them respond to feelings in the story. If they really like a book it may be because it has special meaning for them and is helping them with their feelings.
• When you read a story to your child it can show you understand how they feel. 
• If you are reading about another child (or animal) who is frightened of the dark, it helps your child in knowing that you understand their feelings about frightened  of the dark.
• Hearing or reading the story many times can help children manage their feelings or fears.
• Part of building self-esteem and confidence is knowing where you fit in the world. Stories told by parents and grandparents about family history – 'When Mummy was a little girl' – help your child develop this sense of belonging. This is even more important if you have come from another place or your family has been split up.

  Special story time at bedtime can help your child look forward to going to bed, to enjoy being close to you and to relax, ready for sleep.

  Books can help your child  escape the stresses and pressures of their world as the story takes her imagination to other wonderful places.

  Reading and telling stories can become a special sharing time. It helps children learn to love books and develop a sense of being a lovable person 

Stories help your children develop their imagination and creativity.

Stories help your children to develop their language and thinking, especially when they hear or read them in their home languages.

Stories provide examples to your children of how people meet the challenges that face them.

Children who read a lot as opposed to watching television, develop longer attention spans.

when reading feels good to children, they become readers. We all repeat things that are pleasurable.

 Children are more likely to continue to be readers in homes where books and reading are valued.

Many children remember their storytimes for the rest of their lives....Most importantly they will thrive on spending time with their parent.

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Dealing with disappointment

I learned that avoiding a child's disappointment can be harder than helping her deal with it.

Many parents today seem willing to go to ever-greater lengths to protect their kids from the pain of dashed expectations.

At parties we have to avoid playing musical chairs because someone ends up without a seat, feeling excluded. ....Lots of school sports teams for younger kids don't even bother to keep score anymore -- to prevent one team from feeling like losers. And all because we don't want our children to feel bad about themselves.

The irony is that disappointments are actually beneficial for kids. Learning to deal with setbacks helps them develop key characteristics they'll need to succeed, such as coping skills, emotional resilience, creative thinking, and the ability to collaborate. Parents see failure as a source of pain for their child instead of an opportunity for him to say, "I can deal with this. I'm strong", 

We should remember that Success leads to feeling good about yourself, not the other way around.

Every child is different,so  process of teaching them  values also varies

Be your child's guide, not his savior.
Talking about the situation....asking him to come up with solutions to the problem at hand,instead of giving them our ideas would help.

Afterall a parent can't be everywhere to solve their problems....they have to learn ways to overcome them.

Pare back the praise. 
Lavishing a child with compliments can do more harm than good. Kids who are overpraised become dependent on others for validation  and may end up needing a constant flow of positive feedback to feel valued.

 You get confidence from overcoming adversity, not from being told how great you are all the time,

Making an effort is something kids can be thought, and it instills in them the power to work harder and to deal with failure. However, if they attribute success to their intelligence but then fall short, they tend to lose their motivation.

That's not to say you should never praise your child, but a little goes a long way -- especially when it's specific. Instead of saying, "You're the best big sister ever," try,..... "It was nice that you helped your little sister in packing her bag."

 This shows her what she's doing well rather than just pumping her up.

Encourage them to try new things.
Parents often limit their kids by being overprotective.

Kids naturally gravitate toward the hobbies that interest them and at which they excel. But if your child avoids trying a different activity because she's afraid of how she'll perform, she'll lose the urge to broaden her horizons.

Make a point of introducing your child to new things while making it clear that she shouldn't feel the need to smash any world records at least not right away.our job is to emphasize effort and improvement..

Teach them to delay gratification.
Encouraging a child to wait helps him develop self-control, a skill he'll rely on throughout his life.

Many child psycologists say that if a child can control his impulses -- and keep his eyes on the prize -- he'll be better able to handle all sorts of challenges.

Be a good role model.
A child watches a parent like a hawk, so it's important to handle our own disappointments with grace.

Use phrases that will help your child cope with his own shortcomings, such as, "I'll try harder next time" or "I've done it once; I can do it again." And take responsibility when you goof up  This shows that adults make mistakes too -- and own up to them.

Manage expectations.
We can't prevent these things from happening, but we can reduce your child's distress by keeping her anticipation within reason. 

Rather than talking about exciting plans as guarantees, treat them as mere possibilities. Then if things don't work out in the end, you've cushioned the blow -- and reinforced the lesson that minor disappointments are a part of life.

when to step in:

You can't shield your child from every little setback, but there are times when she'll need your help.

If failing would cause him tremendous humiliation. .

If your child is in danger. 

If the child is  being bullied. 

Every child is different....so should be parenting.

Beating the examination stress

Examinations are a time of anxiety and nervousness -- not only for the students but also the parents.

To increase productivity and take the exams well, it is also necessary -- besides studying hard -- to focus on eating habits, sleep patterns, mental and physical fitness.

1.Eating right

A balanced diet is important, especially during examinations. Fresh fruits and vegetables provide us with reserves of energy and increase our ability to concentrate.

A healthy diet of vegetables, fibre and fruits, keeps our mind alert. If we have heavy junk food like pizzas and burgers, it slows down.

2.Taking care of eyes

Exam time means a lot of reading, writing, stress and strain. Make sure not to overexert or strain the eyes.

Make sure there is ample light in the  study room . Reading with a night lamp should be strictly avoided.

Use a table and a chair to study and write, leaning on the table or reading in the sleeping position for a long time will strain your eyes. 

Rest your eyes after half an hour of continuous reading; blinking helps. Avoid rubbing the eyes. Splash cold water instead.

3.Sleeping well is necessary.

Staying up all night should be strictly avoided and also hit the bed immediately after studies.A few minutes are needed to get out of the 'books mode.'

A short walk, a glass of water or just glancing through magazines before going off to sleep will help de-stress.

4.Getting outdoors

Students must have at least 15 minutes of outdoor activity even during exams.It helps them exercise and relax their muscles.

5. Extracurricular activities should be encouraged.

This one is for parents : extracurricular activities of the child will provide the much needed break. A short stroll in the garden, brief play time (can be a board game too) or some television will help de-stress.

6.Not  getting obsessed

Talk about things other than examination. This will have a relaxing effect. Share some jokes, some interesting anecdotes of the day to lighten up the atmosphere at home.

7.Calming techniques

Practise deep breathing, meditation, and other relaxation exercises as part of your daily routine and encourage the child to use them during the examinations.

8.Be neat and tidy

Give a thought to your clothes, not just while going for the exam, but also during studying. Remember, neat and tidy clothes help lift spirits.

9.Humour

Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine.Any activity that lights up the child should be encouraged.

An exam should be treated like one,but not as a life changing event.It is important to remember that it's just a test...we have faced them before and we will have them in the future too.....

Mental Toughness

We all reach critical points in our lives where our mental toughness is tested. 

Whatever the challenge, we have to be strong, see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if you want to move through it successfully.

It sounds easy. We all want good friends, good jobs, and good relationships.

But it isn’t.

It’s hard to be mentally tough, especially when we feel stuck. The ability to break the mold and take a bold new direction requires that extra grit, daring, and spunk that only the mentally toughest people have.

It’s fascinating how mentally tough people set themselves apart from the crowd. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome.

When Thomas Edison’s factory burned to the ground in 1914, destroying one-of-a-kind prototypes and causing huge damage, Edison’s response was simple:

"Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start fresh again".

Edison's reaction is an example of mental toughness—seeing opportunity and taking action when things look bleak.

There are habits we can develop to improve our mental toughness. 

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them. Moments that test your mental toughness are ultimately testing your emotional intelligence (EQ).

Unlike your IQ, which is fixed, your EQ is a flexible skill that you can improve with understanding and effort. It’s no wonder that 90% of top performers have high EQs and people with high EQs earn  more on average than their low-EQ counterparts.

Unfortunately EQ skills are in short supply. 

They’re Confident

Whether you think you can, or think you can’t—you’re right. – Henry Ford

Mentally tough people subscribe to his notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed. This notion isn’t just a motivational tool—it’s a fact. A recent study at the University of Melbourne showed that confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others did.

True confidence—as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities—has a look all its own. Mentally tough people have an upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because their confidence inspires others and helps them to make things happen.

Being strong starts really early in life.Setting attainable targets,handling failure and accepting the role of being a team player are building blocks to being really strong mentally in life

Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start fresh agai

Admission Time...How to choose

The  most important decision that a parent makes is deciding which school for them to enroll in. 

The right decision would help shape the child's' whole life

 In Preschool, the Relationship Between Teacher and Student Is Key
The connection between child and teacher is more important than any curriculum.tThe child is accustomed to being surrounded by loving people, their parents and siblings , and school is their first time spending a large portion of their day away from those people.  Having a conversation with a prospective teacher about their current classroom would help .

 They would be able to speak about individual students' strengths and weaknesses and be well informed of their background, interests, emotional and academic achievements.

A good teacher takes great pride in  her students' progress and is consistently open to their improvement. 

 The Early Years: Words, Words, Words
A child should be surrounded with words, especially in the early years. They should focus on syllabication, e.g., "B makes the 'bah' sound" and "the boy had a big blue ball."

Reading should be an integral part of the curriculum.Reading different books will develop  an imagination in kids

 Math Cannot Be an Afterthought
From the first days of school,  kids should be exposed to math concepts. A certain kind of math ability seems to be innate in all of us and has been measured days after birth.Which means, in a child's preschool class they should hear teachers discussing basic math concepts with students. Things like greater than, less than, bigger, smaller and reinforcing the number concept 

 Don't Focus Too Much on Standardized-Test  Scores
Sometimes, good test scores can be an indication that a school is doing a very good job of educating its students, but other times it can be an indication that the school is teaching to the test. Standardized tests only measure about a third of the curriculum that should be being taught in the school, which means if the school is only teaching the test material, a child is  probably missing out on a lot. Ideally, a school will teach a rich and complicated curriculum.

A school day has to have enough playtime and fun time
 Apart from the obvious physical benefits of aerobic exercise, studies have shown recess also increases cognitive functioning, she said. Kids need downtime — a break from the rigor. Twenty minutes a day, at least. The same is true for middle-school and high school students —after all everybody needs breaks

 It's Not All in the Name
There is no colloquial designation that guarantees quality. Great schools are those that looks after their teachers,cares for the child and have a child friendly environment.

school is a place that a children spends the most of their time,it should be a place where they should feel safe,be happy,and willing to learn

Self Improvement

A new year starts with  hope and resolutions for the future.... resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person makes a promise to do an act of self-improvement... 

The path to self-improvement starts with self-awareness – the ability to have a clear understanding of our personality, strengths, values, weaknesses, motivations and emotions.

 The awareness of why we do things  helps us develop the process that will move us  forward. 

The process of self learning goes through  numerous steps

Creating Self-Awareness:Understanding our own self
Improving our skills.....will take us a long way 

Define our core values:Remembering what is important to us ..what means the most to us

Tracking our progress:Adjusting to changing scenario and staying on track and rewriting our own manifesto

Watching our habits:This is probably the most important and undoubtedly the most difficult part of self growing...once we watch our habits and make a conscious effort to betterment 

Keep engaging in self-awareness exercises and remembering at each step; that Life is a journey not a destination and learning happens at each step and learning is growing up...

Self improvement is a journey that anyone who wants to excel in life must take. It does not matter in what area you want to excel and progress-All aspects of our lives can only truly improve if we take responsibility for their improvement. The greatest area of such improvement that will impact all other areas of our lives, is improving ourselves.

Improving our KNOWLEDGE