Asking why??

A desire to learn and understand is a wonderful thing for a child, and it should be nurtured and praised.  The world is a complicated place, and there is so much to learn in such a short time when you are a child; asking questions is an effective way of gaining knowledge and insight. So parents should revel in a child’s curiosity and encourage it, viewing it as a positive part of his growth,

Children  are innately and unendingly curious about the world and want to better understand the things they see, hear, and do. Ignoring the questions kids ask may stifle that curiosity and desire for knowledge,

Another reason why children are constantly asking questions is that they've discovered that this one easily articulated word can get your attention and a response. 

This kind of meaningful exchange is a remarkable thing to a beginning communicator who's still mastering the art of conversational give-and-take.
 Instead of answering certain questions, a parent can sometimes help the child to figure things out on his own.  Learning to analyze information and come up with an answer, as well as to formulate and test a hypothesis, are important parts of a child’s intellectual development

we can also try to question around on your child..

Curious children who love asking questions might also love coming up with answers. It may help him learn to think about things differently, from another perspective 

Children learn by asking questions......By keeping the dialogue open, you're telling your kids that you value their ideas and thoughts. So encourage your child to ask questions. It will help him:
Gain control over his world
Learn to think critically.
Learn to think critically.
Consider the complexities of life.

Asking lots of ‪#‎questions‬ is a sign of creativity, an important skill that seems to be in decline amongst this generation of school children. By encouraging your students to ask more questions, you can improve their‪#‎cognitiveabilities‬ in the following ways:

Questions motivate children to seek out knowledge that aligns with their interests and can therefore foster a lifelong love of learning.
They help children form links between pieces of information which in turn can help them develop well-structured essays and debates.
Can challenge pre-conceived ideas and give them the confidence to put forward their own views.

Learning styles..

Environmental factors are only part of many components identified as affecting how individuals learn.

Some children love to tell stories, others seem to be constantly asking questions, while still others are always on the move. Some are quiet and prefer to be alone. Some always seem to have at least one project underway.
Numerous factors affect learning, and it is illogical to expect all children to function the same way in the same environments with the same materials and the same instructional methods.
Rather than thinking of these characteristics as idiosyncrasies, think of them as built-in tools for learning.

There are a number of ways to label, or categorize, learning styles. The terms we choose to use are not that important; in fact, like any use of labels, we must be careful not to put a child in a neat cubbyhole and base all of our planning and teaching on that assessment.

What we want to look for are tendencies, preferences, areas of success, and areas of difficulty. Then through trial and error we discover ways to adapt our teaching methods and materials to each child’s style.

No person has totally one style. In fact, some people seem to have strengths and preferences which cut across nearly all styles. But for the child who seems to be particularly difficult to motivate, it pays to try
to identify the predominant learning style and then adapt methods and materials accordingly.

Learning Styles

Style	Learns best by:	Methods & Materials
Visual Learner	Seeing, drawing, visualizing experience approach, computer-assisted instruction	Maps, charts, diagrams, language
Auditory Learner	Hearing, saying, telling	Music, tapes, choral readings, phonics, linguistics, computer with audio
Kinesthetic Learner	Moving, manipulating, touching	Model building, tracing, writing, physical activities, computer with graphics
Analytical Learner	Working from parts to the whole, solving problems, reasoning, likes following directions	Working with abstracts, categorizing, classifying, self-paced instruction
Global Learner	Seeing the whole, working from whole to parts	Whole-word reading integrated subject matter, cooperative project

Public speaking.....overcoming FEAR.

The number one fear in the world, ahead of even the fear of death, is the fear of public speaking. 
Regardless of what anybody says, the fear of public speaking is extremely common — even the most polished speakers have experienced a fear of public speaking.
Being able to get over your fear of public speaking can have huge impact in all aspects of life.

Here are a few tried and tested ways of polishing your speech.
Practice your speech in front of a mirror
Deliver your speech from beginning to end in front of a full length mirror. Practicing your speech in front of a mirror is invaluable. Speaking in front of a mirror is important because every move you make is distracting.You will notice if you are getting sweaty. 
Essentially, the mirror allows you to be cognizant of the subtle distracting actions you make. “Subtle distraction actions” often are the reason a quality speech turns into a terrible speech.
Practice your speech facing a wall
Practice your speech from beginning to end facing a wall. This is the exact opposite scenario as compared to speaking in front of a mirror. Speaking in front of a wall will allow you to block out all distractions and focus exclusively on the content of your speech. Speaking in front of a wall will help you identify the parts of your speech that you are struggling with, in which the content is weak, or that you cannot gracefully convey to your audience.
Practice with a friend
You tend to be more relaxed delivering the speech to a friend. Also, a friend will hopefully be able to understand your topic, ask questions, and give honest and candid feedback.
After you finish delivering your speech, probe your friend to find out what parts of your speech were easiest to understand and what parts were most difficult.
Practice with a non-friend
Delivering your speech to a non-friend peer is useful because it adds some pressure. 
It will be useful because you will have the opportunity to deliver the speech under pressure.
Record yourself
Recording your speech and critiquing yourself is extremely important because you will be able to identify and correct any flaws in your speech and stammers in your presentation. This is a simple tip, but very useful.
Do a dry run
Practice your speech exactly as if there was an audience, this includes using the microphone. Don’t show up in flip flops and shorts if your speech will be in a tuxedo. Make your dry run as realistic as possible. The more realistic you can practice your speech before actually delivering it, the easier it will be when you actually have to deliver.
Practicing your speech in various scenarios and under various conditions will make you more relaxed and reduce your feelings of anxiety when speaking publicly. Speaking publicly is no different than any other activity — practice makes perfect! Delivering your speech four to five times privately will not be fun. It will be downright annoying, and can be very time consuming depending the length of your speech. However, it will certainly be worth it. Every time you practice your speech you will notice drastic improvements in the quality of your delivery. Having a well-practiced speech will definitely curb your fear of public speaking.

Gestures....The unspoken words.

Gestures - hand and arm movements - are an important part of our visual picture when we speak in public. 
They are reinforcements of the words and ideas we are trying to convey and a non-verbal representation of how we feel.
If we use gestures correctly, they will help us enhance our message and we will appear confident and relaxed. .....Used unconsciously or incorrectly however, speaker can distract their audience or send the wrong message......

Every speaker who stands before an audience is anxious . Our primal instincts jump into action and we unconsciously use our arms to protect ourselves. It is a natural reaction, yet totally unnecessary and  it sends the wrong message to the audience

What do we do with your arms and hands when standing in front of a group of people? Cross them in front of our chest, clasp our hands together, or thrust them into our pockets so they are neatly tucked away they all tell a lot....about how we are actually feeling.
For example:

     Hands on hips = condescending, parental, overbearing
     Crossed arms = cutting off, disagreeing, wanting to protect
     Hands crossed in front (fig leaf) = feeling weak, timid, needing protection.
     Hands joined behind your back = you’re on parade!
     Hands in pockets = nervousness.  
   Sometimes it is our intention to look nervous, condescending, overbearing, weak or    protective because your speech calls for it, then use these gestures, but do so with      purpose
   We  will automatically bring them up when we make gestures or comments. Just remember to rest them down from time to time and you will look relaxed and develop a strong, positive posture.

Gestures are 3 types

1.Symbolic Gestures communicate words, numbers, position. 

2.Descriptive Gestures communicate an idea or movement.

3.Emotional Gestures suggest feelings.

 gestures are purposeful. They are the outward expression of your inner thoughts and feelings.

Use gestures with purpose in public speaking situations and you will engage your audience, and help them comprehend and remember your message

Importance of friendship in kids....what can a parent do

The role friendships play throughout life is important, multifaceted and profound. To cite a Nigerian proverb, “Hold a true friend with both hands!” This overview shows how these wonderful friendships we all cherish in adult life evolves through the developmental stages of childhood and adolescence.

 Friendships in childhood begin as concrete relationships based on pleasurable experiences. As children grow-up, friendships evolve into a more abstract concept, one based upon mutual consideration and psychological satisfaction.

Friendships for children provide numerous important functions including 
companionship
 stimulation
 physical support
 ego-support
 social comparison
 intimacy, and affection. 
Each of these functions has a different degree of importance at different times during development. Many theorists view the development of friendships similarly to other areas of human development, as going through predictable progressive stages.

Friendships as a Handy Playmate

In the first stage, , friendship, for children seven-years old or younger, is based on physical or geographical considerations and is rather self-centered. A friend is a playmate who lives nearby and has “neat” toys. There is little or no understanding of the other person’s perspective or personality traits.

Friendship as Assistance and Mutual Trust

In the second stage, children between seven and nine begin to understand reciprocity and develop an awareness of the other child’s feelings.

In the preadolescent stage, children nine to twelve, have friendships based on a pattern of give and take. Friends are now seen as people who help each other. At this stage, children realize they can evaluate their friend’s behavior and that their behavior can conversely be evaluated. Trust, a benchmark of mature friendships, appears for the first time. 

During adolescence mature pattern of friendship develops with deepening trust and intimacy and increased pattern of empathy. Statements such as, “I can tell my friends anything” and, “I know how my friends feel without them telling me” are common statements during adolescence.

Friendships at this age provide many needed developmental structures beneficial to psychological health and competence. This includes opportunities to explore the self and develop a deeper understanding of another, provide support dealing with the stresses of everyday life, and improve attitudes toward and involvement in school.

Quality and Consequences of Friendship

Friendships contribute significantly to the development of social skills, such as being sensitive to other people’s point of view, learning the rules of conversation, and learning sex and age appropriate behaviors. They also help define both self and self worth.

Friends also have a powerful influence on a child’s positive and negative school performance and may also help to encourage, or discourage, deviant behaviors.

 Compared to children who lack friends, children with “good” friends have higher self-esteem. They are less likely to be lonely and act more prosocially. 

They are able to cope with life stresses and normal transitions and are also less victimized by peers. Interestingly, children with friends of both sexes, as a group, are more well adjusted and have greater social skills than children who have only same sex friendships.

• They will learn how to deal with conflict and adversity. Conflict does arise among friends and as parents you will find perfect opportunities to teach your children how to navigate through conflict.
• The ability to make decisions is increased when children play with peers without micromanaging from adults.
• The opportunity of playing freely with other children helps them develop their imagination which is important for a child’s development.
• Playing with a several children will allow them to know how other families operate and they won’t feel shocked when faced with a family situation that is somewhat different from their own.

what can parents do to encourage friendships in children.

Meet the parents of your child’s friends.

Value friendships over popularity.

Interview for coping, instead of pain.

Ask your child empowering questions.

Only help when your child truly needs or asks for help.

Consider both sides of a story.

Separate your childhood from your child’s.

Figure out if your child is at risk.

Most importantly lead by example....valuing and nurturing your own relations. 

Time Management.....A Child's play

Time management is really just a fancy way of describing the act of balancing more than one opportunity or responsibility at once. 

Like any other skill, it takes practice ...

 By showing your child early on how to manage his time, you are instilling a skill he can use long after he’s donned his college cap and gown. This is a skill he can use for a  lifetime.

 Time-management is essential for everyone. But if you can get your child to learn the main principles, that’s a tool they can use forever. It is a principle that impacts children’s emotional, social, physical, mental, financial and spiritual lives.

 It’s a skill every child needs to thrive. If we don't train them in good habits while they are young, they will spend the rest of their lives trying to shake a bad habit.

Managing time well gets harder as life goes on. The fact is, there are more opportunities in life than there is time to do them. 

Start kids early at learning how to weigh their options. Not every task is equally important and not every task is equally urgent. Help your child determine what things can or cannot wait, and then, depending upon what they choose to tackle first, discuss how that will affect the rest of his time that day. 

He’ll start to learn how much time he needs to allocate to certain responsibilities and will improve his productivity too.

1.Kids learn by example,so set the right example.If as a parent we stay organised .it is more likely that kids follow suit

2.Know your values

Begin teaching time management by establishing your family’s priorities.  Instead of thinking in minutes and hours, think of the big picture.  In our home it looks like this:

• God
• Family
• School
• Work
• Play
• Help them prioritise
• 3.Do less

Managing time is often about dropping less important activities more than it is about fitting in new activities.  Avoid overscheduling your kids.    It can be hard to say no to some of the amazing opportunities that come up during the course of a year.  Save yourself the trouble and know that some activities will have to go on the long term goal list.

4.Avoid procrastination

Teach kids to prioritize their responsibilities and deal with the difficult things first.  Getting your least favorite tasks out of the way early in the day helps to avoid the temptation to put the task off until a more ‘convenient’ time.

 Parents should not  put undue pressure on their kids, whose time in today’s hectic world is already so overmanaged. 

 Its important  for parents to be forgiving when their children don’t get it right. 

There is something to be said for letting the clouds roll by,  The idea, in the end, is to help kids make the best use of their work time, so, being kids, there’s still plenty of time for play.

“The ultimate goal is to help children build internal self-discipline and a capacity to manage themselves.”

It is participating that matters the most...

Children aren't born competing; it's something they learn. The best thing we can do for our kids, as parents and coaches, is to keep the amount of competition in youth sports from becoming excessive, to make having fun and learning the sport as important, if not more important than winning, especially for younger children. 
They will have a lifetime of competition soon enough.

It is a myth that fun has to be sacrificed if a child is to succeed at sports.
 Indeed, the only way an athlete will continue to play sports - regardless of level of ability - is if he or she is having fun.
 Athletes have to practice hard to reach an elite level. If it all work and no play, they simply won't keep playing. Success is determined by the player's own desire to succeed, which comes from a love of the game

Young athletes are not pint-sized professional athletes. They don't earn performance -based bonuses. They aren't going to be paid a dime more for scoring three goals per game than for scoring three goals in the entire season, or for being on a championship team instead of the team in the cellar.

So we need to treat them as kids, not major leaguers.

Ask kids about what they want to get out of sports, and the vast majority will say competitive games in which everyone plays and has fun. Given a choice between fun and winning, most would say having fun.
 They would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning team. 
As children grow, mature, and improve their skills in playing a particular sport, they begin to see a pattern of successes and failures. Trained coaches call this "self-discovery," and it is a very important part of the learning process. Parents should encourage it.  Youth players need the freedom to experiment in practice and games, to take risks, to be creative. If winning is the only measure of "success," such experimentation is stifled and player development stunted. A successful competition is one where every player on both teams contributes, does his best, and respects his teammates, his opponents, and the rules.

Stories....kids and you

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  It doesn’t matter how old we are, we all use stories to explore our lives – past and present – and our possible future. Stories allow us to learn about the lives of our family and friends. Telling and reading stories provides a safe space to experience and make sense of the ups and downs of life.

  Stories transport us into the lives of people we’ve never known, who come from long ago and places faraway. And there are those stories that carry us away to imaginary worlds where real-life fades and fantasy takes over. We might all enjoy different stories but we all share and explore them for the same reason: they are just so satisfying!

  So, sharing stories with your children is fun and powerful! And did you know that it also has lots of other benefits too? 
• When you read or tell a story which contains feelings it helps your child accept their feelings and understand how others feel. They learn they are not alone and others may feel the same as they do. This helps them know that feelings are natural and, it is alright to have feelings.
• You can also learn how your child feels when you see them respond to feelings in the story. If they really like a book it may be because it has special meaning for them and is helping them with their feelings.
• When you read a story to your child it can show you understand how they feel. 
• If you are reading about another child (or animal) who is frightened of the dark, it helps your child in knowing that you understand their feelings about frightened  of the dark.
• Hearing or reading the story many times can help children manage their feelings or fears.
• Part of building self-esteem and confidence is knowing where you fit in the world. Stories told by parents and grandparents about family history – 'When Mummy was a little girl' – help your child develop this sense of belonging. This is even more important if you have come from another place or your family has been split up.

  Special story time at bedtime can help your child look forward to going to bed, to enjoy being close to you and to relax, ready for sleep.

  Books can help your child  escape the stresses and pressures of their world as the story takes her imagination to other wonderful places.

  Reading and telling stories can become a special sharing time. It helps children learn to love books and develop a sense of being a lovable person 

Stories help your children develop their imagination and creativity.

Stories help your children to develop their language and thinking, especially when they hear or read them in their home languages.

Stories provide examples to your children of how people meet the challenges that face them.

Children who read a lot as opposed to watching television, develop longer attention spans.

when reading feels good to children, they become readers. We all repeat things that are pleasurable.

 Children are more likely to continue to be readers in homes where books and reading are valued.

Many children remember their storytimes for the rest of their lives....Most importantly they will thrive on spending time with their parent.

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Dealing with disappointment

I learned that avoiding a child's disappointment can be harder than helping her deal with it.

Many parents today seem willing to go to ever-greater lengths to protect their kids from the pain of dashed expectations.

At parties we have to avoid playing musical chairs because someone ends up without a seat, feeling excluded. ....Lots of school sports teams for younger kids don't even bother to keep score anymore -- to prevent one team from feeling like losers. And all because we don't want our children to feel bad about themselves.

The irony is that disappointments are actually beneficial for kids. Learning to deal with setbacks helps them develop key characteristics they'll need to succeed, such as coping skills, emotional resilience, creative thinking, and the ability to collaborate. Parents see failure as a source of pain for their child instead of an opportunity for him to say, "I can deal with this. I'm strong", 

We should remember that Success leads to feeling good about yourself, not the other way around.

Every child is different,so  process of teaching them  values also varies

Be your child's guide, not his savior.
Talking about the situation....asking him to come up with solutions to the problem at hand,instead of giving them our ideas would help.

Afterall a parent can't be everywhere to solve their problems....they have to learn ways to overcome them.

Pare back the praise. 
Lavishing a child with compliments can do more harm than good. Kids who are overpraised become dependent on others for validation  and may end up needing a constant flow of positive feedback to feel valued.

 You get confidence from overcoming adversity, not from being told how great you are all the time,

Making an effort is something kids can be thought, and it instills in them the power to work harder and to deal with failure. However, if they attribute success to their intelligence but then fall short, they tend to lose their motivation.

That's not to say you should never praise your child, but a little goes a long way -- especially when it's specific. Instead of saying, "You're the best big sister ever," try,..... "It was nice that you helped your little sister in packing her bag."

 This shows her what she's doing well rather than just pumping her up.

Encourage them to try new things.
Parents often limit their kids by being overprotective.

Kids naturally gravitate toward the hobbies that interest them and at which they excel. But if your child avoids trying a different activity because she's afraid of how she'll perform, she'll lose the urge to broaden her horizons.

Make a point of introducing your child to new things while making it clear that she shouldn't feel the need to smash any world records at least not right away.our job is to emphasize effort and improvement..

Teach them to delay gratification.
Encouraging a child to wait helps him develop self-control, a skill he'll rely on throughout his life.

Many child psycologists say that if a child can control his impulses -- and keep his eyes on the prize -- he'll be better able to handle all sorts of challenges.

Be a good role model.
A child watches a parent like a hawk, so it's important to handle our own disappointments with grace.

Use phrases that will help your child cope with his own shortcomings, such as, "I'll try harder next time" or "I've done it once; I can do it again." And take responsibility when you goof up  This shows that adults make mistakes too -- and own up to them.

Manage expectations.
We can't prevent these things from happening, but we can reduce your child's distress by keeping her anticipation within reason. 

Rather than talking about exciting plans as guarantees, treat them as mere possibilities. Then if things don't work out in the end, you've cushioned the blow -- and reinforced the lesson that minor disappointments are a part of life.

when to step in:

You can't shield your child from every little setback, but there are times when she'll need your help.

If failing would cause him tremendous humiliation. .

If your child is in danger. 

If the child is  being bullied. 

Every child is different....so should be parenting.